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If I Ruled |
| Ever think that you can do better? Have you ever thought that things would be better if only… Mine would be a benevolent dictatorship, so come along with me as I indulge in some wishful thinking and imagine what I would do if I ran Dominica. |
- Posters and banners promoting a cause, event or individual/group have to be removed with 5 business days after the activity has passed. Expired posters will fall under new littering legislation, therefore a fine will be levied by any individual or group named on the flier. This is to keep the city, etc, clean and ensure that promoters and organisation are more responsible as to where and how their promotional material are distributed.
- The microphone works to amplify sound. Anyone who shouts into a microphone shall receive a 1 year ban from public speaking as they will be labelled too stupid to use a mike.
- I would make all vandals repair, clean, rebuild or buy back whatever they have damaged or defaced, in addition to their standard punishment.
- Sentenced litterers must spend a set number of days cleaning the streets and picking up trash. People caught illegally dumping will be forced to served a set number of days doing manual labour with Solid Waste Management.
- I would throw out the current electoral system in favour of a system in which politicians are not elected but are selected based on their résumés. They would have to prove practical experience, necessary educational accomplishment, and have to pass a series of competency and intelligence tests; all open for the public. Winning candidates will be given the positions on 2-year salary probations. Salary bonuses will be awarded based on a public efficiency review. Civil servants would also have to go through a performance review to keep their jobs.
- I would change the requirements for getting a driver’s license. In addition to the driving test would be an intelligence test.
- All night clubs and place that has live bands and/or loud music would be made to replace the standard two to four gigantic speakers on-stage with several smaller speakers placed along the ceiling and walls.
- No cars would be allowed to have a sound system so loud that it can cause doors in houses to vibrate. Anyone exceeding established noise level will have their system ripped out.
- Anybody caught loitering will automatically be sent to work camps as part of the state sponsored employment service.
- I would strictly enforce the Noise Abatement Act. Anyone wanting to throw a street party (or any outside jam) will have to apply for permission and observe the time limits, if within a residential area. On the other hand, tax incentives will be given to any night club (and such businesses) that outfit their premises with music systems that efficiently play music within the set decibel level.
- Low hanging pants (where the underwear or backside is exposed) is be considered indecent exposure and violators will be forced to wear scratchy rope-woven suspenders for an entire month.
- Vendors will not be allowed to set up in front of established places of business without a license and a letter from the owner granting permission.
- Vendors and businesses taking up more than 25% of the sidewalk will be punished by having to sell their goods for 75% off the actual cost for double the number of days they have taken more than their proper space.
- Anyone caught peeing on the side of the road will have their photo posted on a wall of shame in the newspapers.
- Drivers parking in reserved spots and on sidewalks will have their vehicles towed away, at their expense.
- Punishments for drivers who park on the sidewalks will include spending the day in the stocks.
- I would make it mandatory that all children entering primary school would be given a thesaurus and a dictionary. In order to enter high school students will have to prove their knowledge with passing grade in vocabulary and proper word use.
- To ensure road maintenance is kept up, road users who suffer damage to their vehicles due to potholes and other such poor maintenance can send the repair bill to the Department of Public Works (and the responsible Minister) for compensation. Public Works must settle the bill within 60 days.
- Those who abandon their vehicles along the roads will be tracked down and be made to pay for the fine as well as the cost of the removal.
- Anybody with unpaid traffic tickets or other unresolved violations will have their licenses suspended and not be allowed to renew their licenses until the fines are settled.
- I would have solar power traffic lights installed at all major intersections, especially in Roseau, to get rid of the traffic congestion in during a black-out.
- I would establish a national bus service that would provide regulated island-wide round the clock service. All bus drivers would become employees of the transit service handing over their buses in exchange for working shifts with full employee benefits. There will be a free shuttle service within Roseau that pause for 1 minute at all stops heading to the bus terminals at Pottersville, Bath Estate and Castle Comfort for transfers.
- Under an Environmental Protection mandate, people with strong body odour can be taken away and force cleaned until the scent is gone. Those whose medical conditions cause the odour will be given discount medical assistance to resolve the problem.